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Mark Malinak's avatar

A great conversation -- reaching some simple but startling revelations. The importance of a practice and devotion to attentiveness in our daily activities -- at base attentiveness to the world, to Anima Mundi. The importance of knowing in our heart, our gut, that we have deep rivers of longing as Homo sapiens. And consequentially we are all searching for that house of belonging. John O’Donohue, David Whyte, and Francis Weller all speak to this in their writings.

This is where our culture has failed us miserably. An act of faith, of trust, of stepping off...into the unknown. In my lifetime their have been two seminal events where I had to dig down deep and let go (let go of my life as I knew it, let go of most of my beliefs and ways of thinking as I knew them, embrace the totality of the unknown that was presenting itself to me on a daily basis.)

The first time was in my late 20’s, when I got in my car, with a bottle of Wild Turkey between my legs, and drove to the Detox at my local hospital. Once I parked took the last swig or two from the bottle and went through the doors and admitted myself. I was scared to death, had no clue what life without substances would look like. Yet I never looked back. My life changed in ways I could never have imagined over the next 15 years.

The second time, was the sudden death of my wife in the Fall 2019. The night of the day she died I wandered the quiet country dirt road that I lived on shouting and crying into the brilliant glistening starlit sky. I knew in every fiber of my being that I had entered that terrain of the unknown once again. In that moment I vowed to embrace the mystery -- that this would become the most incredible journey of my life. That my grief would show me the way if only I gave it my absolute trust, my absolute attention.

Here I am. Thank you -- Charles, we are on the same path. In this journey I am finding others. This gives me comfort, this helps me to believe that the house of belonging is getting closer and closer. The foundation is being formed by our collective suffering, our collective grief and with a clear and present vision of the great mystery that settles on the horizon.

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Yasmin Haut's avatar

"Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment" (Rumi's words) have always helped me turn down the light on my ego attachment to knowing or mastering. AND the remedy as "attention" is a great suggestion.

AND I also I experience a dose of honey-like softening to my nervous system in the rituals of my life; be they strictly ruled (Japanese Tea Ceremony or Zazen) or casually indulged (napkins on the table for diner, make my bed each morning). Trying not to fight the change, chaos, dis-integration while also reaching my hands out when hearts engage in good times (births, celebrations, rain showers) and arms around when the heart is engaged (death, loose, collapse) when I remember. And also clicking my seat belt for the ride.

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