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Marie Blaine's avatar

I remember so clearly that feeling of “I can’t do this”. I don’t know how to do this! But knowing there was no way out of it- this baby was going to come out and I would have to find a way.

After 23 hours of labor I was exhausted. Weak and spent and losing resolve. My husband was right there with me, and my midwife too and their steady calm support had kept me going for hours. But I could feel their weariness too. The birthing tub, the soft music and all that I had thought would help me through this were laid aside- mere playthings when it came to this realm of soul opening transformation. I really couldn’t do it. I want to go the hospital I said- I can’t do this. I give up. Ok, said the midwife, we can, if that is what you really want but I think you can do it- lets just wait a little longer. It is time to push. Can you push? I can’t, I’m too tired.

All of a sudden the door whooshed open, and in flew my midwife’s assistant. She brought with her an aliveness, a wild and radiant joy that filled the room- “push, push, push, push, push” she beamed at me; and I pushed with her. Her rosy cheeks, shining eyes, her knowing and enthusiasm, her celebration of life, released in me the energy, focus and confidence to push and to birth my baby. The life affirming magnificence that she brought into the room changed everything. What a gift it is to be that for each other when we can.

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Cat Thompson's avatar

I have loved your work since I read my first essay, but this goes beyond exceptional. What a bright vision you give us. No false promises of what could be, or should be; rather, you provide us with the most beautiful metaphor possible - conscious birth. This is, in my opinion, one of your best pieces so far. Sharing far and wide!

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