90 Comments

Frankly, I think this is an outgrowth of a metaphysical viewpoint that has crept into everyday thinking and discourse across all political and belief systems. “There is a plan behind the scenes controlled by ______.” Fill in the blank with white hats, cabal, God, Satan, Obama, Trump. Take your pick. It is reassuring and no where near as frightening as “It is the randomness and chaos that is the life experience.”

In a cancer support group after my mastectomy (many years ago), I remember one cancer survivor saying that “the worst part about this is the loss of control.” Another man, with mesothelioma said, “That’s the crux of it right there: you never had control; you just thought you did.”

Expand full comment

If you read this, Charles, I'd be very interested to hear your thoughts...

BROKEN KIDS, NOT GUNS

https://ttfuture.org/blog/michael/broken-kids-not-guns

"On Tuesday, the Federal Bureau of Investigation released a report titled “Active Shooter Incidents in the United States in 2021,” which logged sixty-one mass shootings last year.

The violence we see all around us, personal and global, is a failure of development. Period. The seed is not the cause, or to be blamed for being planted in poor soil, not being watered, isolated, shoved in a dark closet, screamed at, compared, humiliated, ignored, beaten, or illuminated by a screen instead of nature’s sunlight. Then, when these stunted plants grow sharp tangled thorns, we blame them for moral failure, punish them, chastise, incarcerate, and kill them, self-righteously.

To blame guns, TV, video games, Twinkies, the bully next door, bad genes, and all the rest, for the pervasive violence, self-mutilation, self-medication, suicide, and similar unbelievable acts on others, is simply a misguided defense, empowering our justifications to continue to fail at our most basic challenge and responsibility; modeling what it means to be a whole, connected, available, awake, sensitive, empathically-entangled human beings. After all, that is what every child needs and is desperately screaming about, real and inspiring models.

We are responsible for the society we co-create by our willing acceptance and participation, not guns or any other tool. We are responsible for the behaviors we model and allow at home. We are responsible for everything that happens at school, the form, structure, comparisons, curriculum, rewards, and punishments. We are responsible for everything our children experience with screen technologies. All the barbed wire around our schools, police, and metal detectors, won’t fix a thing. Rather, more of the same will only intensify the loneliness, hopelessness, despair, and inner rage our broken children feel."

"And in fact, more damage occurs with the sensory deprivation of pleasure than the actual experiencing physical painful trauma, which can be handled quite well in individuals who were brought up with a great deal of physical affectional bonding and pleasure which carries with it emotional trust and security. We really have to look at the trauma of sensory deprivation of physical pleasure and that translates into the separation experiences, the isolation experiences of the infant from the mother. [Basic trust.] That’s the beginning."

"Failed nurturing, broken bonds, abuse, and betrayals of intimacy of young boys, who are far more vulnerable biologically and therefore psychologically than females. These are the predator males that grow up drawn to positions of power; heads of corporations, finance, the military, police, and politicians. What goes around, comes around.

What is not apparent to most is that early sensory deprivation of affection, abuse, and neglect lead to play deprivation in children and adults. Play being nature’s design for optimum growth and development. No basic trust, no play, no real development, rather, defensive conditioning."

"Our children become what we are, not what we tell them to be. The greatest gift of being a parent is the realization that the love we experience for our children is the most powerful wake-up call to be the best human being we can be because our kids are watching, every moment, from the inside out. Holding on to our kids implies modeling our very best, and simultaneously this holding and modeling creates the strongest and most resilient shield to protect our children from the predators who are less fortunate.

As every pregnant mother knows, eating and breathing for two changes the care and attention she gives to every bite and every breath. Mindfulness on steroids. For the connected parent, that mindfulness never stops. Realizing how we act, the way we speak, the care, attention, presence, and empathy we model every day is what our children are becoming, in their own way, of course, becomes the greatest incentive to uplift ourselves, and therefore the world. Something cell phones, surveillance cameras, police, and metal detectors can never do."

Expand full comment

I really appreciate your thoughts here. Yes, everything is so much bigger than our limited minds can perceive or make sense of. I bow to the great mystery moving through everything.

Expand full comment

I’m reassured by these reflections. Each day I’m sent by friends reasons that I need to choose sides and get angry.

And all I can say is that I am tired. I’m beyond anger. My heart hurts for us all. The most healing mental space for me right now is in that place of grief and ‘I don’t know’.

I hear Rodney King from decades ago asking ‘why can’t we all just get along’. Why can’t we? It’s a choice we all can make.

‘Holding the tension’, resting in the mystery, allowing the grief .. powerful and difficult exercises.

I think more and more of us are headed toward this same space of exhaustion and ‘holy longing’ - longing for meaning and purpose. I pray we choose to enter the ‘letting go’ space rather than the blaming space.

Expand full comment

Is it not Self-defeating (in the larger Self) to assume that FB hacks and terrorism attacks are naturally occurring, part of human nature, and will never be understood, their causes inscrutable mysteries? I agree with the person who sees all fear-inducing acts of destruction as part of "their" agenda. I also feel that everything happens for a reason that's bringing us into a place of peace and wellbeing as quickly as we'll let it. Their agenda will backfire, but not until the consequences become evident to all. Hang in there, Charles, and everyone.

Expand full comment

Arrrgh, sorry about your FB experience. I left them totally in January, after 13 years, because of the censorship, the fuckery, and the "bugs" I picked up from there. I was hoping, when I saw the title of this, that someone had hacked FB and made it a truther's destination... HA. That would be great, wouldn't it? Well, maybe later. Point is, you're clearly doing the right things, or the vermin wouldn't be messing with you!! ^_^

Expand full comment

The reflective mirror. It's always perfect.

Expand full comment

It is all a Mystery - how true. So human to want to box up solutions and causes. How can we control our crazy lives? I so appreciate your thoughts. Because all we can do is respond with as much Love as possible. [especially for our precious human selves - s

pirit can do that]. Blessings to you and yours!

Expand full comment
Jun 1, 2022·edited Jun 1, 2022

I appreciate your perspective on random events. I also really appreciated the interview on the World Health Assembly with Tess Laurie (spelling?). Thank you.

Expand full comment

“How unsearchable his judgments and his paths beyond tracing out” “now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror . . . Now I know in part” “I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me, but I have stilled and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me, O Israel put your hope in the Lord, both now and forevermore” “man is born to trouble as sparks fly upward from a fire” verses from the Bible that came to mind as I read your pondering of mystery. In ancient times mirrors being polished metal were blurry. Hope you get through this latest set of hassles soon.

Expand full comment

So sorry you are dealing with this!!! Hope you get it fixed as soon as possible!!

Expand full comment

What this is showing me is that indeed my decision to turn off my instagram a couple months ago and my upcoming doing the same with facebook has been the right decision for me. Grateful I can just go and walk away from it at this stage of my life.

Expand full comment

Wise pondering. The concept that we are ultimately not in control and cannot be is a scary thing for most. In the end we can only do what we can and we must leave the rest be.

Expand full comment

This happened to my Instagram late last year. First I was furious, frantic, found it unbelieveabke I could not get hold of a human in anyway to help me.

After a while that settled, I started a new account and re added what contacts I could remember. But it would never be the same. There was no point posting or looking at anything on Instagram anymore.

I decided I liked it.

It was the seed that inspired me to completely give up my smartphone for 40 days- I went back to an old school Nokia dumb phone, and grew my hands back.

There is an ethical hacker I have come across who reportedly can fix these things, when you have no joy from the Meta people. I haven’t taken up the offer though.

Expand full comment

I was hacked last week - its a huge pain and more busy work than anyone needs !! thanks for the heads up !! we are all connected - in this reality!!

Expand full comment

I think what happened to you, Charles, shows at least one thing. The platforms you mentioned are not just messing up people's brain, generally (e.g. increased loss of presence or mindfulness, delusions, ludicrously short attention span, mental distress and related self-harm, propagation and endorsement of hatred, extremism, bigotry, sexism, etc.). I'm truly sorry you've been hacked. It's not just 'unpleasant'. It can trigger a lot of anxiety and cause a lasting headache. At the same time, a little gratitude goes to hackers whose crimes are exposing how unsafe those soul-destroying, life-grinding machines are, at plenty more levels. The complete absence of customer support can hardly be blamed on scarce resources. The greatest tool for control and surveillance, worldwide (I'm not into conspiracy, just stating the obvious) is a one-way system: they watch over people all day, yet never answer when you need them. May hackers put us all off using them, forever... I'm very much looking forward to read your new essay - "Why I Won't Write..." - later on :-)

Expand full comment