This is beautiful and perceptive. As a housewife, I struggle to justify my own time. People did the patronizing (implications in context) "you're doing the most important job there is!" but anything aside from raising kids had no value because it wasn't paid. Therefore, because I didn't "work", there was no time when I wasn't working that was clearly my own. Now, divorced and kids grown, I describe myself as gainfully unemployed when asked what I do. We have no language for making a life that doesn't serve the market. I think this is an impediment to imagining an economy where that's possible for everyone.
“…serve the market” is a staggering insight into the working concept of modern voluntary slavery. Not only is our survival dependent on this mechanism, but also our social and cultural currencies. Our identities have become what we do, not who we are, and that is a tragic loss for humanity.
Very well put, Holadios. Yes, the book I wrote, How to Dismantle an Empire, is about first dismantling the empire within and looking at all the assumptions that bribe us into not really looking too closely. One of those is what your time is worth. An hour of time in a corporate job may be worth ten for those who serve her coffee and 100 for those who made her clothes. What are we but the sum of our time?
As a housewife, my time had no dollar value, which made it especially hard to push back on things that other people wanted me to do, whether that was social or volunteering. I had to get very rigid about protecting my time, and about not being a servant to my family just because they had deadlines and I didn't. It's a tricky line between feeling guilty that I do own my time and needing to justify it by making myself busy, busy, busy as Kurt Vonnegut would say.
Perfectly said Tereza. I have been contemplating the need to make money quite a lot lately, sitting with the notion of "If I didn't need to make money to pay my rent, car payment, etc., would I still do what I do?" I love what I do, but the ideal is doing it without any pressure, what a dream...one which most heart based, not ego driven, artists aspire too. I actually make things which don't serve the market, and basically have done so since graduating from art school. It is very fulfilling and following the compass of the heart is my way, however, its been so challenging....I'm so tired.
I wanted to also say, Roxana, that I loved your other comment, that "I know you must be busy" is a way of respecting the other person's time and giving them an out, if they don't want to engage. Much better than "I know you're not doing anything important..."
Ethan Allen, on this thread, uses a quote "Work is love made visible." My Latino handyman says, "Work is life, life is work." We talk about a labor of love as something that isn't paid, but why? Shouldn't all work be a labor of love?
You've named the essential difference between a job and a labor of love, which is pressure. A labor of love is still labor, and the real work of life is maintenance, those unsexy day-to-day redundant tasks that keep the hungry bodies fed, the house pleasing to the eye and nourishing to the soul, the garden winning against the weeds and gophers, the appliances only half-broken but still workable ;-)
What a beautiful exchange, thank you both! As the mother of two grown daughters who stayed at home to raise them, I resonate. I had a sister-in-law who went back to work at a terribly-paid secretarial job when her sons were only 12 weeks old, because there was the idea that it was lazy for her to stay at home. My heart breaks even now thinking of those babies in daycare, being watched by people on minimum wage whose jobs weren't valued. Also, one of the ways to get out from under the survival treadmill of working to pay the bills is to radically downsize and create another life that has far fewer fixed costs. This takes a lot of courage and letting go, however. I made this move about 11 months ago, giving up most of "my" possessions and taking a volunteer position in a place where I had long wanted to live. I am much freer now to live my love and love my life :-D
Kudos on your courage and your escape! Yes, we housewives are an endangered species. Choices available to me and you may not be available to our daughters (I have three). And it's not because of greed. In The Two-Income Trap, written by Elizabeth Warren and her daughter, she writes about how the costs of essentials, especially housing, rose to a two-income level. So for one generation, working gave women more choices, but by the next, the choice to not work was lost. However I think we're closer than we've ever been to a real turning point and I think women will lead it. On my Third Paradigm YT channel I have a playlist called, "Where Are the Women?" and one episode called "Waking the Dragon Mom" ;-) I'll post the channel below.
And PS to my previous reply: it's not easy to see when inside the system/lifestyle, but we need so very much less to live comfortably than most people (especially in the "modern" Western world) can imagine. The standard of living that has come to be seen as normal is so far over the top of how our grandparents lived. The irony of my sister-in-law's situation was that she barely made enough to pay for daycare, while if I had gone back to my business consulting career, I could have made as much as my husband...but I was the one who chose to stay home. I had thought, before becoming a mom, that I would take a year off (and even that horrified my mentors and the younger women who looked up to me). After a year with my daughter, however, I realized that there was never a magic moment when she didn't need me, so I stayed out of the corporate world and eventually went back to music, one of my first loves. I did have the luxury of a husband with a good job, though.
I had already found your channel, will subscribe and we can connect. My channel is there under my name, although nothing has been posted on it for some years (it's mostly music). Time for something more, it seems :-)
Some VERY interesting people you're reading, LeAnn. The Abbey of Misrule intrigued me by its name, and then I found it was Paul Kingsnorth. My second-most-popular video is on him, called "Are We Being Manipulated?" However I couldn't find a YT link for you.
And I noticed you're in Sweden. In the US, I write about the "Unaffordable 4H"--housing, healthcare, higher education and hope for retirement. It's not the stuff that bankrupts people here, it's the necessities. I only bring it up because I feel people blame themselves for not being able to do what you and I have done, and I look at system change as needed to make those choices possible for everyone.
And yes, being a mom was the only job where I was truly irreplaceable, at least to three people ;-)
Coming late to the game, here, but just wanted to appreciate aloud your comment. You articulate an important part of the work matrix, and so clearly.
I also spent decades as a “housewife”. I raised my 6 children in a subculture that relegates women to this role as their highest, noblest purpose (really their only one), and yet never gave them any power or real respect beyond platitudes of admiration for their “divine” nature. Bleh. Beyond that subculture was the larger culture, which also pays lip service to the value of homemaking and motherhood, but offers little to no material evidence of this supposed value. I felt always caught in a bind between the constant “on the clock” aspect of the work of homemaking/child care, and the feeling that I deserved no respect or valuation for doing it.
During most of my at-home years, I worked as a self-employed seamstress. I charged more per hour than I now receive at my retail job, but I earned less, because people are unaccustomed to the real cost of producing the clothing they wear, and I wasn’t able to respect/value my work sufficiently to insist on it’s real value. I always undercharged for the actual time I put in to the formal clothing and costumes I made/altered for people.
It’s only in recent years, as I’ve been doing valued volunteer work, and then paid work, that I’ve had the feeling of valuing my own time, and that has somewhat spilled over into the years I spent at home, working. It really feels meaningful when my community, the other humans among whom I live and work, signal that my work has value, by paying me for it in some way. But I’m valuing my time, energy, life-force, creativity, intelligence, and heart, more and more, and that makes me so keenly aware of the reality that I’m giving these things to the purpose of enriching a few corporate executives and some shareholders, in exchange for what is really a disrespectful, greedy offering of barely over the “minimum wage” (a fraught term if ever there was one). I don’t want to do it any more. I want to do something meaningful, valued, satisfactory; something that honors my heart and life-force, not uses it up without respect or gratitude. Is that a pipe-dream?
Oh Anne, not a pipe-dream at all! Thank you for this reflective and personal insight. It speaks to what I woke up thinking--that there are plenty of people doing an excellent job on Substack of explaining the problems we face. I think we need the pragmatic framework to imagine together the solutions. The purpose of my book, How to Dismantle an Empire, was to teach people to think clearly so that we could get to the juicy part of How to Build a Commonwealth. I think that time is now. There are a hundred thoughts I have in response to your sweet note but I'm going to use that energy to put those thoughts in order and actually start my blog.
But in the meantime, you might relate to some of the videos on my Third Paradigm YouTube like Be the Meanest Mom Ever, Your Kids Will Thank You ... Eventually, and Waking the Dragon Mom, or From Patriarchal Pyramid to Matriarchal Matrix, or What Emerges from the Emergency? Here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDmO99Pl8y7I2qnYjpA_njQ.
For me the word that comes up that is preferable, rather than busy is, am I receptive? Letters and sounds add to and build on an existent use of a word alone or in phrases, and the buzz sound of busy, paints a sense and picture of a time over-involved with the outside world, even “busy as a bee” used to describe humans does not convey appreciation for the bee’s deep involvement with the flower.
Am I receptive asks, foundationally, “Am I connected in a meaningful way to that which I am doing, planning (drawing from within to discover the steps forward), and with whom I am interacting?” All these also remove the ego’s self-consideration. Being receptive, for me, takes limited elements out of the picture and returns us to connection.
I am always so grateful for your deep perceptions of life and the truths you share, Charles, deeply resonant to my heart, as you draw these from the “times” we are in.
Ah I came to the comments section to offer some thoughts after feeling the strong resonance of your words and then read that others have offered those very thoughts already. In these isolating times, it is such a wonderful thing to find myself not only in your writing but the community built around your writing. This lil corner of the internet is a lovely thing. Thank you Charles and everyone here.
A large part of my response to this essay is a sad sort of tiredness. I resonate deeply with the thoughts Charles shares here. I’ve felt ill at ease within this civilization’s system of “work” and “education”, since I can remember. I just cannot see how to—in practical terms—achieve what my heart and soul want so desperately. I cannot see any real “out” from this oppressive system. It caught onto me as a five year old, and it still has the dominating vote on what is actually possible. At least, that’s how it feels to me. It’s no wonder that, along with deep grief and fear and all the other difficult emotions that arise with climate and societal collapse awareness, there is also a kind of elated excitement palpable in communities where it’s the prevailing topic. It’s definitely an underlying emotion for me, around the idea of civilization’s collapse (whatever that actually looks like, in the event). Because I simply cannot see a way out otherwise. And yet, I can’t see anything wonderful coming of that collapse in my current lifetime, either. Just a different kind of struggle. Hence, the tiredness, I suppose.
I hope this doesn’t bring anyone down. On the other hand, it’s the truth for me right now, and maybe for some others, too, so it feels important to speak it.
It is an interesting time we are in, as societal systems break down, it's scary. And we have the opportunity to rethink things; what it is to be a valuable human being, how we want to provide for ourselves and each other, what is our more humble role as a part of the Earth's ecosystem, and what cultural beliefs really weren't working for us and need to be abandoned. Societal breakdowns are opportunities for incredible creativity, if we survive the breakdowns that is. 🙏 Take good care. 💜
Very beautifully worded, Anne. I'm glad to see someone voicing this hidden elation in the midst of collapse. In a comment above, I mentioned my book How to Dismantle an Empire. But the truth is that the empire is dismantling itself at a rather breakneck speed. Honestly I think this year will be a turning point when something new becomes suddenly possible. People often think I'm being depressing when I talk about how things are now, but it's so evident to me that change is on the move I can barely contain myself. There's a particular one of my YT episodes that I think might speak to you, called The Utopian Imagination on Naomi Klein. It isn't too soon to be imagining what we want. Your intuition on work and education has been spot on. I think there's a very pragmatic way to get what your heart and soul want so desperately, and the universe is conspiring with us to achieve it.
Dear Charles, thank you for your great gift of self-perception and your humility in sharing what you notice. I noticed the exact same dilemma when we had multiple invitations to speak at international conferences (on the subject of compassionate and humane healthcare). The solution, suggested by my wise wife Meredith, was not to make decisions with our heads but to listen to our hearts. So instead of accepting the opportunities that seemed to be a strategic opportunity, or from a famous institution, or to meet influential leaders - the previous choices we made - the sole criteria became, "Will this gathering make our own hearts sing?" So we graciously turned down the invitation to the prestigious university and instead accepted the invitation to participate in an inspiring gathering of hospital volunteers in California, the most dedicated, loving and heart-felt group you could imagine. This strategy nourished our souls and, over time, led to fruitful partnerships with organisations that really 'got it' rather than playing lip service to the cause. We deliberately eliminated the work "busy" from our language and in response to people saying, "You must be so busy!" we responded, "No, not busy, just fully occupied doing what we love."
It's really the same strategy that Marie Kondo teaches in her books about de-cluttering your life: for each possession you ask the question, "Does this give me joy?" If the answer is "no" then gift the item to someone else
I resigned from Corporate Healthcare Summer 2021 after nearly 29 years and looking back I realized the conditioning of "Busy" as a badge of honor. "I don't have time now because....." "I'm Busy right now I will get to that when I have a moment...." "I have a mountain of charts, emails and messages to get back to before I leave, I am late already for...." were particular normal refrains from many and as such I believe was engineered into work to stop others from connecting truly in deep fashion and to monetize time at the expense of healing. Choice to reclaim back the product of our labor is Sovereignty in full bloom.....I have been afforded the "gift of time" I no longer have busy 60 hour work weeks. It has morphed into a living into avocations and rebuilding into the Freedom to owning the consequence of choice of when and what I want to put my attention to and with whom. Thank you Charles for the fine reflections.
Thank you, once again, for your gift with words and putting these essential desires into tangible form. Thank you for helping us all to call it in.
To be free to do things beautifully and well; to live with dignity; to hold our time sacred; to be sovereign over our lives; to be put to the very best use.
Divine Timing! I am sorry about your drive but have much gratitude in my heart for THIS essay. I literally went to bed with deep emotional pain for ALL of what you have beautifully captured. In order for transformation to occur, enough of us must be discontent with what IS. I do not feel so all alone. You understand. Consciousness recognizing the same inner deep, soul desires of Consciousness in another sends out echoes across the Universe. Awareness… Witnessing… creative Expression IS Everything. I love your soul and your writing 💗
"My yoke is easy and my burden is light." When we are yoked or connected with God's will, time has no negative connotation. We are doing what we came here to do and it will all get done. Doing comes from the mind and it takes getting our minds right to be in God's will.
love the jewel about the brag of being busy. Good one. Your essay makes me think of being in balanced time or in the field of harmony time that you could wake up in as a small child. There was no busy and yet we never stopped.
All my adult life I have lived by the idea that by living as simply as possible, having a veg garden, preserving food, mending stuff, being ok with things looking worn, making things, shopping in charity shops, not needing to own a house, living with out the imagined 'security' that our society foists on us , etc etc I can make my need for money less, and I can enjoy a much fuller and freer life, doing what gives me joy on the whole, being available for long conversations, and cups of tea with people, minding my grandchildren when asked, having time to do things on impulse, and living according to the hours that seem to satisfy my body rhythms - that is late nights and late mornings.... and laughing at the situations which occurr as a result of having little money - but I am fortunate to live in a country that provises a financial safety net of sorts, although bound about with crazy amounts of bureaucracy which can stunt peoples creativity and urge to be useful, and turns people into liars in order to survive so its not perfect - which leads me to advocate for a culture which gives everyone a basic small income with no questions asked and frees people to live their lives in a more creative and balanced way
I actually assume you live a pretty balanced life. I love you in interviews where you must go take care of kid something. If I contacted you I might say do you the time now? I like what you are saying here. I am working with having no assumptions and it is not easy and yes Charles I am sure we all project onto you. Forgive us. These days I do not hustle much at all...ahhh...the pandemic has been a teacher. I allow life to arise and enfold and I try to know when to say no.
This is beautiful and perceptive. As a housewife, I struggle to justify my own time. People did the patronizing (implications in context) "you're doing the most important job there is!" but anything aside from raising kids had no value because it wasn't paid. Therefore, because I didn't "work", there was no time when I wasn't working that was clearly my own. Now, divorced and kids grown, I describe myself as gainfully unemployed when asked what I do. We have no language for making a life that doesn't serve the market. I think this is an impediment to imagining an economy where that's possible for everyone.
“…serve the market” is a staggering insight into the working concept of modern voluntary slavery. Not only is our survival dependent on this mechanism, but also our social and cultural currencies. Our identities have become what we do, not who we are, and that is a tragic loss for humanity.
Very well put, Holadios. Yes, the book I wrote, How to Dismantle an Empire, is about first dismantling the empire within and looking at all the assumptions that bribe us into not really looking too closely. One of those is what your time is worth. An hour of time in a corporate job may be worth ten for those who serve her coffee and 100 for those who made her clothes. What are we but the sum of our time?
As a housewife, my time had no dollar value, which made it especially hard to push back on things that other people wanted me to do, whether that was social or volunteering. I had to get very rigid about protecting my time, and about not being a servant to my family just because they had deadlines and I didn't. It's a tricky line between feeling guilty that I do own my time and needing to justify it by making myself busy, busy, busy as Kurt Vonnegut would say.
Perfectly said Tereza. I have been contemplating the need to make money quite a lot lately, sitting with the notion of "If I didn't need to make money to pay my rent, car payment, etc., would I still do what I do?" I love what I do, but the ideal is doing it without any pressure, what a dream...one which most heart based, not ego driven, artists aspire too. I actually make things which don't serve the market, and basically have done so since graduating from art school. It is very fulfilling and following the compass of the heart is my way, however, its been so challenging....I'm so tired.
I wanted to also say, Roxana, that I loved your other comment, that "I know you must be busy" is a way of respecting the other person's time and giving them an out, if they don't want to engage. Much better than "I know you're not doing anything important..."
Ethan Allen, on this thread, uses a quote "Work is love made visible." My Latino handyman says, "Work is life, life is work." We talk about a labor of love as something that isn't paid, but why? Shouldn't all work be a labor of love?
You've named the essential difference between a job and a labor of love, which is pressure. A labor of love is still labor, and the real work of life is maintenance, those unsexy day-to-day redundant tasks that keep the hungry bodies fed, the house pleasing to the eye and nourishing to the soul, the garden winning against the weeds and gophers, the appliances only half-broken but still workable ;-)
Beautifully articulated Tereza
What a beautiful exchange, thank you both! As the mother of two grown daughters who stayed at home to raise them, I resonate. I had a sister-in-law who went back to work at a terribly-paid secretarial job when her sons were only 12 weeks old, because there was the idea that it was lazy for her to stay at home. My heart breaks even now thinking of those babies in daycare, being watched by people on minimum wage whose jobs weren't valued. Also, one of the ways to get out from under the survival treadmill of working to pay the bills is to radically downsize and create another life that has far fewer fixed costs. This takes a lot of courage and letting go, however. I made this move about 11 months ago, giving up most of "my" possessions and taking a volunteer position in a place where I had long wanted to live. I am much freer now to live my love and love my life :-D
Kudos on your courage and your escape! Yes, we housewives are an endangered species. Choices available to me and you may not be available to our daughters (I have three). And it's not because of greed. In The Two-Income Trap, written by Elizabeth Warren and her daughter, she writes about how the costs of essentials, especially housing, rose to a two-income level. So for one generation, working gave women more choices, but by the next, the choice to not work was lost. However I think we're closer than we've ever been to a real turning point and I think women will lead it. On my Third Paradigm YT channel I have a playlist called, "Where Are the Women?" and one episode called "Waking the Dragon Mom" ;-) I'll post the channel below.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDmO99Pl8y7I2qnYjpA_njQ
And PS to my previous reply: it's not easy to see when inside the system/lifestyle, but we need so very much less to live comfortably than most people (especially in the "modern" Western world) can imagine. The standard of living that has come to be seen as normal is so far over the top of how our grandparents lived. The irony of my sister-in-law's situation was that she barely made enough to pay for daycare, while if I had gone back to my business consulting career, I could have made as much as my husband...but I was the one who chose to stay home. I had thought, before becoming a mom, that I would take a year off (and even that horrified my mentors and the younger women who looked up to me). After a year with my daughter, however, I realized that there was never a magic moment when she didn't need me, so I stayed out of the corporate world and eventually went back to music, one of my first loves. I did have the luxury of a husband with a good job, though.
I had already found your channel, will subscribe and we can connect. My channel is there under my name, although nothing has been posted on it for some years (it's mostly music). Time for something more, it seems :-)
Some VERY interesting people you're reading, LeAnn. The Abbey of Misrule intrigued me by its name, and then I found it was Paul Kingsnorth. My second-most-popular video is on him, called "Are We Being Manipulated?" However I couldn't find a YT link for you.
And I noticed you're in Sweden. In the US, I write about the "Unaffordable 4H"--housing, healthcare, higher education and hope for retirement. It's not the stuff that bankrupts people here, it's the necessities. I only bring it up because I feel people blame themselves for not being able to do what you and I have done, and I look at system change as needed to make those choices possible for everyone.
And yes, being a mom was the only job where I was truly irreplaceable, at least to three people ;-)
Coming late to the game, here, but just wanted to appreciate aloud your comment. You articulate an important part of the work matrix, and so clearly.
I also spent decades as a “housewife”. I raised my 6 children in a subculture that relegates women to this role as their highest, noblest purpose (really their only one), and yet never gave them any power or real respect beyond platitudes of admiration for their “divine” nature. Bleh. Beyond that subculture was the larger culture, which also pays lip service to the value of homemaking and motherhood, but offers little to no material evidence of this supposed value. I felt always caught in a bind between the constant “on the clock” aspect of the work of homemaking/child care, and the feeling that I deserved no respect or valuation for doing it.
During most of my at-home years, I worked as a self-employed seamstress. I charged more per hour than I now receive at my retail job, but I earned less, because people are unaccustomed to the real cost of producing the clothing they wear, and I wasn’t able to respect/value my work sufficiently to insist on it’s real value. I always undercharged for the actual time I put in to the formal clothing and costumes I made/altered for people.
It’s only in recent years, as I’ve been doing valued volunteer work, and then paid work, that I’ve had the feeling of valuing my own time, and that has somewhat spilled over into the years I spent at home, working. It really feels meaningful when my community, the other humans among whom I live and work, signal that my work has value, by paying me for it in some way. But I’m valuing my time, energy, life-force, creativity, intelligence, and heart, more and more, and that makes me so keenly aware of the reality that I’m giving these things to the purpose of enriching a few corporate executives and some shareholders, in exchange for what is really a disrespectful, greedy offering of barely over the “minimum wage” (a fraught term if ever there was one). I don’t want to do it any more. I want to do something meaningful, valued, satisfactory; something that honors my heart and life-force, not uses it up without respect or gratitude. Is that a pipe-dream?
Oh Anne, not a pipe-dream at all! Thank you for this reflective and personal insight. It speaks to what I woke up thinking--that there are plenty of people doing an excellent job on Substack of explaining the problems we face. I think we need the pragmatic framework to imagine together the solutions. The purpose of my book, How to Dismantle an Empire, was to teach people to think clearly so that we could get to the juicy part of How to Build a Commonwealth. I think that time is now. There are a hundred thoughts I have in response to your sweet note but I'm going to use that energy to put those thoughts in order and actually start my blog.
But in the meantime, you might relate to some of the videos on my Third Paradigm YouTube like Be the Meanest Mom Ever, Your Kids Will Thank You ... Eventually, and Waking the Dragon Mom, or From Patriarchal Pyramid to Matriarchal Matrix, or What Emerges from the Emergency? Here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDmO99Pl8y7I2qnYjpA_njQ.
I love your comment. 😊👍🏼
Thank you, Charles.
For me the word that comes up that is preferable, rather than busy is, am I receptive? Letters and sounds add to and build on an existent use of a word alone or in phrases, and the buzz sound of busy, paints a sense and picture of a time over-involved with the outside world, even “busy as a bee” used to describe humans does not convey appreciation for the bee’s deep involvement with the flower.
Am I receptive asks, foundationally, “Am I connected in a meaningful way to that which I am doing, planning (drawing from within to discover the steps forward), and with whom I am interacting?” All these also remove the ego’s self-consideration. Being receptive, for me, takes limited elements out of the picture and returns us to connection.
I am always so grateful for your deep perceptions of life and the truths you share, Charles, deeply resonant to my heart, as you draw these from the “times” we are in.
Ah I came to the comments section to offer some thoughts after feeling the strong resonance of your words and then read that others have offered those very thoughts already. In these isolating times, it is such a wonderful thing to find myself not only in your writing but the community built around your writing. This lil corner of the internet is a lovely thing. Thank you Charles and everyone here.
A large part of my response to this essay is a sad sort of tiredness. I resonate deeply with the thoughts Charles shares here. I’ve felt ill at ease within this civilization’s system of “work” and “education”, since I can remember. I just cannot see how to—in practical terms—achieve what my heart and soul want so desperately. I cannot see any real “out” from this oppressive system. It caught onto me as a five year old, and it still has the dominating vote on what is actually possible. At least, that’s how it feels to me. It’s no wonder that, along with deep grief and fear and all the other difficult emotions that arise with climate and societal collapse awareness, there is also a kind of elated excitement palpable in communities where it’s the prevailing topic. It’s definitely an underlying emotion for me, around the idea of civilization’s collapse (whatever that actually looks like, in the event). Because I simply cannot see a way out otherwise. And yet, I can’t see anything wonderful coming of that collapse in my current lifetime, either. Just a different kind of struggle. Hence, the tiredness, I suppose.
I hope this doesn’t bring anyone down. On the other hand, it’s the truth for me right now, and maybe for some others, too, so it feels important to speak it.
It is an interesting time we are in, as societal systems break down, it's scary. And we have the opportunity to rethink things; what it is to be a valuable human being, how we want to provide for ourselves and each other, what is our more humble role as a part of the Earth's ecosystem, and what cultural beliefs really weren't working for us and need to be abandoned. Societal breakdowns are opportunities for incredible creativity, if we survive the breakdowns that is. 🙏 Take good care. 💜
Very beautifully worded, Anne. I'm glad to see someone voicing this hidden elation in the midst of collapse. In a comment above, I mentioned my book How to Dismantle an Empire. But the truth is that the empire is dismantling itself at a rather breakneck speed. Honestly I think this year will be a turning point when something new becomes suddenly possible. People often think I'm being depressing when I talk about how things are now, but it's so evident to me that change is on the move I can barely contain myself. There's a particular one of my YT episodes that I think might speak to you, called The Utopian Imagination on Naomi Klein. It isn't too soon to be imagining what we want. Your intuition on work and education has been spot on. I think there's a very pragmatic way to get what your heart and soul want so desperately, and the universe is conspiring with us to achieve it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTxuuSnRrZI
"my longing to be busy with a life I love, to hold my time sacred". This phrase I will hold dear in guiding me. Thank you.
Dear Charles, thank you for your great gift of self-perception and your humility in sharing what you notice. I noticed the exact same dilemma when we had multiple invitations to speak at international conferences (on the subject of compassionate and humane healthcare). The solution, suggested by my wise wife Meredith, was not to make decisions with our heads but to listen to our hearts. So instead of accepting the opportunities that seemed to be a strategic opportunity, or from a famous institution, or to meet influential leaders - the previous choices we made - the sole criteria became, "Will this gathering make our own hearts sing?" So we graciously turned down the invitation to the prestigious university and instead accepted the invitation to participate in an inspiring gathering of hospital volunteers in California, the most dedicated, loving and heart-felt group you could imagine. This strategy nourished our souls and, over time, led to fruitful partnerships with organisations that really 'got it' rather than playing lip service to the cause. We deliberately eliminated the work "busy" from our language and in response to people saying, "You must be so busy!" we responded, "No, not busy, just fully occupied doing what we love."
It's really the same strategy that Marie Kondo teaches in her books about de-cluttering your life: for each possession you ask the question, "Does this give me joy?" If the answer is "no" then gift the item to someone else
I resigned from Corporate Healthcare Summer 2021 after nearly 29 years and looking back I realized the conditioning of "Busy" as a badge of honor. "I don't have time now because....." "I'm Busy right now I will get to that when I have a moment...." "I have a mountain of charts, emails and messages to get back to before I leave, I am late already for...." were particular normal refrains from many and as such I believe was engineered into work to stop others from connecting truly in deep fashion and to monetize time at the expense of healing. Choice to reclaim back the product of our labor is Sovereignty in full bloom.....I have been afforded the "gift of time" I no longer have busy 60 hour work weeks. It has morphed into a living into avocations and rebuilding into the Freedom to owning the consequence of choice of when and what I want to put my attention to and with whom. Thank you Charles for the fine reflections.
Thank you, once again, for your gift with words and putting these essential desires into tangible form. Thank you for helping us all to call it in.
To be free to do things beautifully and well; to live with dignity; to hold our time sacred; to be sovereign over our lives; to be put to the very best use.
Divine Timing! I am sorry about your drive but have much gratitude in my heart for THIS essay. I literally went to bed with deep emotional pain for ALL of what you have beautifully captured. In order for transformation to occur, enough of us must be discontent with what IS. I do not feel so all alone. You understand. Consciousness recognizing the same inner deep, soul desires of Consciousness in another sends out echoes across the Universe. Awareness… Witnessing… creative Expression IS Everything. I love your soul and your writing 💗
No, l have all the time in the world.
"My yoke is easy and my burden is light." When we are yoked or connected with God's will, time has no negative connotation. We are doing what we came here to do and it will all get done. Doing comes from the mind and it takes getting our minds right to be in God's will.
love the jewel about the brag of being busy. Good one. Your essay makes me think of being in balanced time or in the field of harmony time that you could wake up in as a small child. There was no busy and yet we never stopped.
Nice. I love the ending!
I'm so busy is nothing more than a pernicious euphemism for - I just don't have time for you!
All my adult life I have lived by the idea that by living as simply as possible, having a veg garden, preserving food, mending stuff, being ok with things looking worn, making things, shopping in charity shops, not needing to own a house, living with out the imagined 'security' that our society foists on us , etc etc I can make my need for money less, and I can enjoy a much fuller and freer life, doing what gives me joy on the whole, being available for long conversations, and cups of tea with people, minding my grandchildren when asked, having time to do things on impulse, and living according to the hours that seem to satisfy my body rhythms - that is late nights and late mornings.... and laughing at the situations which occurr as a result of having little money - but I am fortunate to live in a country that provises a financial safety net of sorts, although bound about with crazy amounts of bureaucracy which can stunt peoples creativity and urge to be useful, and turns people into liars in order to survive so its not perfect - which leads me to advocate for a culture which gives everyone a basic small income with no questions asked and frees people to live their lives in a more creative and balanced way
I actually assume you live a pretty balanced life. I love you in interviews where you must go take care of kid something. If I contacted you I might say do you the time now? I like what you are saying here. I am working with having no assumptions and it is not easy and yes Charles I am sure we all project onto you. Forgive us. These days I do not hustle much at all...ahhh...the pandemic has been a teacher. I allow life to arise and enfold and I try to know when to say no.
THANK YOU, CHARLES. THE NAIL HAS BEEN DIRECTLY TAPPED ON ITS HEAD. I TRULY LOVE & RESONATE WITH YOUR MANNER OF EXPRESSION. BLESS YOU, ROBERTA